Since there are literally thousands of theological articles on the web about Christmas 2011, and since I have basically nothing original to say, I will keep mine short.
What do we say about Christmas? What does it mean for us?
It seems common for Christians to chide society for the reduction of Christmas to a consumeristic holiday, though the irony of simultaneously engaging in said consumerism seems lost on them.
The problem is that merely insisting on the presence of Christ in Christmas is not an articulate expression of the meaning of Christmas.
Some go further, emphasising the birth of Jesus with a view to him eventually dying for our sins—Christmas is really about Easter. This might be caricaturing things a little, but for some the birth of Jesus, and indeed his subsequent life, holds little to no meaning apart from the atonement.
Are these adequate ways of articulating the importance and power of Christmas?
Here’s some food for thought about our beloved Saint Nick:
- Children must take personal responsibility if they are to be rewarded.
- The poor, who generally receive less, are therefore lazy.* Santa is actually a big fan of the rich, since he gives them more presents even when they are naughty! (Note: when Santa talks about being naughty and nice, he is talking about how hard we work).
- Santa has a virtual monopoly of the toy market at Christmas, and uses uncompetitive strategies, such as giving away his products, in order to put his competition out of business.
- Santa uses slave labour to make his toys, confining them to an isolated sweatshop in freezing and often unstable conditions (assumedly so it is too difficult to investigate working conditions in the factories). There is no minimum wage or overtime, and the food they get is whatever is left over after Santa is finished (which is always none).
- By doing so he also takes jobs away from people here at home.
- “Saint” Nick subjects eight reindeer, and endangered species mind you, to pulling his obese frame across the entire world in one night – talk about hard labour!
- Santa has shares in coal mining, which is why he no longer gives coal to the naughty – he keeps it for himself. Imagine the price he can sell it for in the future when there is an energy crisis!
- Santa doesn’t demand redistribution of your wealth, unlike those damn trick-or-treaters.
The Right-wing shouldn’t be so quick to applaud Santa’s championing of laissez-faire economics, since he is also an advocate for completely open borders. Indeed Santa is himself an illegal immigrant, travelling without a passport and sneaking undeclared goods into the country. And you thought boat people were bad…
In addition Santa is leading people to Hell! Westboro Baptist Church told me so.
Is this the kind of person you want your children to be looking up to?